Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
