I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
