Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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