One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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