i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Boobs are out for the taking
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
