in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
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And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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