Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize