If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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