Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
