I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize