I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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