a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
