i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
