hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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