I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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