theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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