I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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