Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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