i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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