I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
