just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
