you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
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We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I touched a dick in church today
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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