dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
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I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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