Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
