That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
