Taylor Swift is so right about you.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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