I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize