so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
