But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
