White coat. Heels.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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