He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
