Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
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