i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
