I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
