so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
