If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it