OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...