Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS