I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house