Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
worst night to have a conscience
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
