Can Purell be used as lube?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Randomize
