He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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