So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize