Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
