i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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