you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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