playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
