Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
