just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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