goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
