but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize