This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
