I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
