The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
