Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
