It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
