we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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