thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
