My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
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