Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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