how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize