upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize