So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
