a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
True strength comes from lack of pants
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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