you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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