I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
